Let's keep growing!

I've spent the last half hour listening to a woman speak on YouTube about Radical Obedience out of love. It is great. It is wonderful. It's so amazing that I had to stop the video because I couldn't listen to even...

One
More
Word!!!

She speaks on God's love. She speaks on saying "Yes" to God. She has amazing joy. Amazing happiness. She lives an amazing obedient life.

I don't.

To be honest with you, at times I feel like a "little-girl-throwing-a-temper-tantrum" in a grown woman's body. Granted, I eventually say "yes" to God, but in the moment, I usually tantrum. Not always, but sometimes I really do! Especially if it involves ME giving up MY will or "MY way".

Now, if God asks me to give away my most comfortable pair of shoes to someone who needs a pair, I will GLADLY give that up. If He asks me to give away money or food when I have very little, I will do that as well. I've given plenty of material things away. It's easy for me. I do it, most of the time, without a second thought.

If He asks me to give up my time, I get a little squeamish, but I give in pretty quickly. "Ok God, I will do that." If He asks me to go pray for someone, I get a little squeamish, but once again, it's a pretty quick decision. "Yes Lord."

If God asks me to babysit for someone, I become just a little bit more irritated, BUT I eventually I joyfully serve those children. If He tells me He wants my poor attitude in exchange for His perfect joy & peace, I also get a little more irritated. Some days, I think I like my attitude. It keeps me safe. It keeps pe0ple out. It keeps me in my own little bubble, and on most days, I really like my little bubble.

When God asks me to give him my DREAM??? CONTROL of a situation??? My DESIRES??? My CIGARETTES???

wow!
really God?
Seriously?
Are
you
kidding
me!?!?
"What if I say NO?"

(I'm pretty sure I'm the only one in the world with such responses to God! NOT!!!)

But, in the event that I am the only one who would challenge God's question with my own attitude, He's still pretty patient with me. EXTREMELY patient with me!!!

I LONG to say "Yes" every time to God, but I don't. I LONG to willingly give up ME for HIM, but I always don't.

I tantrum often.

I'd like to think that I don't kick my feet very long anymore. Nor do I argue as often as I used to with God. I would also like to mention that I usually wait until I'm in private with God before I start my "discussion" with Him, whereas, arguing in the middle of the peanut butter isle in a grocery store kinda' makes one look crazy!

I say "yes" faster than I used to. I trust more. I don't ask for AS MANY explanations as I did in the past. I'm getting better. I'm growing. I'm learning. I'm going forward. The story of my life!

Jesus, in me, is growing me up. Little by little, moment by moment, reaction after reaction, and day by day. Question by question, I'm learning to say "Yes God' faster and with less arguing.

I may not be the woman in the video whose life is the perfect example of obedience; however, I'm not the infant on the floor throwing her first temper tantrum either.

I'm somewhere in-between

and
that's
ok!

God doesn't want to make us into carbon copies of each other, but into carbon copies of Jesus. From what I have read of Him in the Bible, I think He's pretty versatile, wide-ranged, and extremely creative. He is also very "out-of-the-box", which would leave me to believe that He loves the fact that you, me, and the rest of His children make up such beautiful threads in the tapestry of His kingdom.

So although you and I may have big shoes to fill, we can rest in the fact that Jesus doesn't expect perfection, but progress. He doesn't expect us to become robots, all identical to one another, but to become the beautiful "you" He's created you to be.

so
let's
keep
growing,
let's
keep
growing :)